Prayer

My cousin Eric, who lives in Paris with a big chunk of my family, is in the hospital in critical condition. I got the news this morning from one of his daughters, Angela. Eric is my dad's first cousin, the son of my great aunt Lina, who is like a third grandma to me. He is the father of my cousin Delphine, who is my age and with whom I grew up before we moved to the US almost 30 years ago. He is also the father of my cousins Angela and Myriam. Eric is a very large man, and not in great health.

I don't really understand the details - medical French isn't my forte - but his stomach ruptured, his lungs risk infection and his kidneys are failing. I've been sad today, wishing I lived closer to them all. Worrying about Lina, whom Eric has been living with for several years - the two caring for each other in a quirky kind of way. Lina is 89, and it's amazing to think that she could outlive her oldest son. I worry about his daughters. I worry about him, pray for him, for his healing, for his peace.

There is so much sorrow in the world... I heard today about a friend of a friend who had a stillbirth, and a friend of that woman's whose baby died within the first 24 hours. I heard about a woman my age with inoperable brain cancer.

I looked at my daughter, thanking God for her life, her energy; recognizing how fleeting and precious it all is. I feel deeply grateful for my own health, however challenging it can be sometimes.

How terribly real and utterly magnificent this life thing is! How blessed we are for what we have. How we approach it is our choice. I am feeling this sadness today, holding it, giving it space - all the while choosing to feel and live deeply and fully - FOR RIGHT NOW.